Triggered?

Our Ben tells us about how he manages triggers related to PTSD:

What’s your trigger?

Triggered is a very 2020’s term, often used to bait randos on the internet if you are one of those folk desperate enough for serotonin that baiting randos on the internet is your thing. Seriously Trolls, do sit ups or go to therapy.

Triggers can be places, people, times of the year, times of the day, seeing things, smelling things, hearing things… a lot of things… but things plural. It feels like it but it’s rare that it is just one thing (I am going to say things a lot). A weird but recent example for me was PTSD symptoms manifesting after eating a steak that was undercooked, the taste or smell of blood. In mental health symptoms can sometimes feel like a coiled snake that if you prod with the right trigger, the fucker bites.

But your brain isn’t a snake, it’s a brain. Unless you are a snake and are reading this. Are you a snake? should I be impressed or scared if you are? Is your fav band Venom? Was that a speciest  joke? 

Mental health problems encourage you to become a bit of a detective. You have to put on your trench coat (still got a leather one from the early 2000’s? this guy has), rewind the video that is your memory and look at points in the recent future that have added to this trigger. Stress is a major contributor to problems. What points over the last week or two have you been stressed? Are you holding that stress now? 

A good way to know if your body has felt different recently. It takes practice but you start to notice if there is pain or tension, if your sleep has been less deep or if you have felt sick or just tired. Me, I get tension in my neck. My breathing gets really shallow and an old compression injury starts to hurt ‘cos my posture is slumped. I did a short but effective course of body centred counselling that helped with this. 

Next is, have you behaved differently? Others can help you with this one to spot patterns. This can include NOT doing things. In fact avoiding things is a huge one. If you are busy you often drop the activities that help your brain-meat. Have you ever skipped a gig because you were too tired but then proceeded to struggle to sleep? Ever skipped guitar practice because you had too much on but then procrastinated like fuck? Yeahhhh…. 

And the last are thoughts. Are you thinking differently? This-takes-practice. I often do this by pretending my brain is actually two people, the flexible and the brittle. I think about how my thoughts are reacting to a situation. The post-steak fallout was me getting angry at the event of a neighbour’s baby crying, an event I usually sleep through when my brain doesn’t perceive EVERYTHING as a threat. Flexible Ben would acknowledge that this situation sucks for all parties and even more for the parents. I even have a child so I can empathise. Brittle Ben snaps, feels threatened and wants to blast Slaughter to Prevail ‘Made in Russia’. I know one of my final thoughts before I fall apart is road range or a weird preoccupation with road safety (I had a recurring dream that I would die on the road and never let it go.). If I get those thoughts I know I’m getting closer to the snake bite*. 

What are your body feelings, different behaviours and thoughts? 

What is really difficult is that when you get this snake bite there is often no going back, you just have to ride it. But that’s the name of the game isn’t it my metallic brethren? That’s when self care comes in. That’s when self compassion needs to happen and when you need to give yourself the space to bounce back. 

There is something to learn every time and it takes practice, especially if you are new to this. Don’t just know your triggers. Get to know the build up and do what you can to give yourself a little peace. Some of us are veterans at this but there is always room to learn. It gets easier with time and you get better at this. 

Take care of yourself and each other. 

Ben 

*not the 90s drink – if you know, you know